Rules

The rules here are what always get me. For example, a red light in Kenya is simply a suggestion. Sometimes rules are enforced, sometimes not. That is the gamble. It can frustrate or free you. Use them when it works for you, bend it when it does not. That is what creates the chaos we have gotten so used to and participate in. I will be first to admit, after a long-day at work, if there is a jam, and the sidewalk has open space, I will gladly utilize that open lane.

It is 4.30 am in Kampala, Uganda. I am catching a plane to South Africa, the only one of the day. Traffic in Kampala is a nightmare. There is one road in and out of Kampala. No ring–roads and really no space to manuveur a-la Nairobi style—side walk driving, making one lane three lanes etc... If you get stuck in Kampala traffic, you are stuck! A friend of mine got stuck once and he jumped into a tuk-tuk—the three wheel rickshaws, and drove the 60 kms to the airport!

Anyhow, on this dark morning I leave early to avoid traffic. It’s a gamble, drive in the dark or get stuck in traffic. Kampala’s roads are ok and we make it fine to the airport. At the check-in counter the attendant says “I am sorry, but we cannot check you in....” “Umm, and why is that?” “Your yellow fever certificate has expired.” (Rules. Here is a rule that is sometimes enforced, sometimes not. In Congo they enforce it to get bribes, but I have never had an issue with my yellow fever certificate. OK, I will confess, I knew it was expired, but who has time to go to the doctor.) Now, another lesson I have learned here is you just talk them into things. For example, “Miss, your bag is too heavy for the plane.” “Oh, but that is OK.” – and there it is, she checks it in. So, here I go into talk – mode “Oh, but that is no problem, you see, once it is expires you have 30 days to renew it, and I have a Dr.’s appointment tomorrow.” (All of that completely untrue.) She does not buy it.

Crap, now I am concerned. Remaining completely calm I ask her what she thinks I should do. “Well, there is a clinic down the road, you can go get a shot there.” Ha! It is dark, I am an hour outside the capital, Uganda has an HIV problem, oh right, and they just had an Ebola outbreak, but I will just skip on down to the clinic. Fat chance. Rules. I ask for the supervisor, and long-story short, some sweet talking, and I get on the plane. I ‘adjust’ the documents on the plane. Arrive in South Africa. Distract the customs officer with trite conversation and I am in. Rules. Bend them. Use them. Abide by them....when you can.